Church

I haven't been feeling very religious lately, yet today I went to church nearby. I realized the main things I have problems with when it comes to church services:

*I find many of the teachings old-fashioned and unappropriate in this day and age. Who can say that the exact teachings thousands of years ago can apply to the daily life of someone living in 2006? Also, those that try to change the wording to make it more applicable to the here and now--who says that these synonyms really mean the same thing? How many times have the wordings been changed, and how different it is now from what what was originally said?

*I don't believe that only my faith saves. I cannot believe that, because there are so many fantastic people that radiate the love of God in all that they do, yet do not share in all that my religion says. Is God really hoping they all become one faith? Plus, religion is such a deep rooted part of many cultures. Certain countries' beliefs and structures can certainly adhere more to one or a few religions, and of course in general the people will find more comfort in that faith that they have grown-up more closely to.

*In my experience, the people in Catholic congregations are completely underwhelmed. They sit there like rocks, oblivious to any reason why they might be there other than guilt. Nobody sings and people barely respond to the prayers. Not that I feel comfortable with jumping around and dancing, speaking in tongues, etc. but some kind of emotional response would be great.

*The music is generally poorly produced--I do not expect all of the cantors and organists/pianists to be professionals (though it certainly would be nice) but it would be enjoyable to see a charismatic leader. I often can barely hear the cantor, and they sing with a garbled tone, and look like they don't even know what they are saying.

I have felt closest to "my church" at St. Paul the Apostle in New York. They really are the community I feel that fits my life and the people there are full of joy and purpose. They attend mass on Sundays despite the busy city life, and go actively to find what they need to take and need to give. I miss it there, and though it doesn't mean to, it really highlights the weaknesses of so many churches elsewhere.

*However, I do realize that church is a wonderful community nonetheless, and in general, people are trying to become better people by going. They want to find something to believe in, to share with others, and despite the many uninspiring laypeople, there are some that truly open their hearts and try to reach out.

*Though the music is generally bad, the words in song always reach me more than the scripture. Particularly today the communion hymn--as I sang it I felt it trying to reach out to me.

Return to God with all your heart, the source of grace and mercy; come seek the tender faithfulness of God.