This week's thoughts

How wonderful it was to spend time with Sliker, laughing and talking (and eating lots). Definitely had a great time. It also reminded me about the fun we had as RAs that last year, and how post-college, relationships you form are so much different. We had so many crazy times then, running around the building, being able to reach each other in just a minute or two.

I think that I haven't been continuing with last semester's goal of socializing more. In fact, I think I've been pretty antisocial. Almost everyone I see says that they haven't seen anyone else either, but that's can't be completely true for everyone, can it? Recently, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere, and it's this vicious cycle of feeling like I'm not mixing well with other people, and then I don't mix with them, and then they don't talk to me, and then I feel like I don't fit in. It goes round and round, and I don't know at exactly which of those steps it started.

I surprised myself this week (well, sorta) by notating this on my American art song listening assignment: "This repertoire is truly my delight, and part of me would be completely happy focusing my career on exploring American art song. The nature of American song to be comfortable talking about the daily things and silly things, as well as somber things, makes it so much more enjoyable. It does not always require a gorgeous sound, but a true personality, and the performers we have been listening to (William Sharp, Thomas Hamspon, and Mary Ann Hart, in particular) stir my insides to no end."

Thus said, I love American music because it's not always so serious. Sometimes I listen to jazz "standards" and dream of having that much fun and relatively little worry about performing (not that I'm saying that's the case, but they always sound so chill). I love opera, yet it is soo hard that we often lose sight of the joy in it.

Alas, Thursday attacks. Ciao~